Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
