So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Did you just see the Batmobile???
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
