I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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