Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
