Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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