I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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