I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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