So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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