...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
