is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
