well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
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