I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
