Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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