He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
my liver is dry heaving
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
