That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
