Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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