I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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