Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize
