My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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