How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
