how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
