if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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