That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
