# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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