I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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