No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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