Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
