please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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