try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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