I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
