benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
