My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
