I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize
