Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
