Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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