Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
