six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
