to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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