I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
