just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
