using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Dicks are not precious.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
