I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
