The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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