Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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