So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Come see our sink grown plant.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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