I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
that is very illegal...i love you.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
