How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
