Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
