The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
