Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
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