I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
