Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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