His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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