I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
